by Justin Edwards

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released December 25, 2006



all rights reserved


Justin Edwards Los Angeles, California

Storymaker in film, music, and ebooks.

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Track Name: Beach Party
i’ve been waiting for this day
since we talked about this day
pack your things, let’s go away
i’m in my car, i’m on my way
grab the suits and the lotion
gotta get out to that ocean
heading up, heading down
look out world we’re surfing bound

did you think to pack the sunscreen
did you think to grab the frisbee
too late now no turning back
the sand, the sun, the girls, the fun
let’s not waste another minute
water’s waiting let’s be in it

F Am
just one more turn to make
til our skin gets sun-baked

here at the beach party
we soak in the sun’s rays
here at the beach party
the night goes on for days

and you can come
bring anyone
come join the fun
all the day long
play in the sun
we’ll never be done

bring your canine
no waiting in line
just don’t you whine
lay out, recline
and if it’s a crime
then i’ll do the time
Track Name: Moustache Pool
i'm $50 richer than i was the day before last
why am i $50 richer than i was the day before last?
well i'll tell you why i'm $50 richer
than the day before last, the day before last

moustache pool (4x)
Track Name: Oh Crap Jesus Is Back
E A F#m B (a capella)
oh crap jesus is back, he's back

oh crap jesus is back
oh crap jesus is back

i thought that he was lying
i didn't think he was serious
didn't you think he was kidding
when he said he'd be back?

did you know that he was alive?
did you say something to me?
did you say something to me?
how was i supposed to know?
you didn't say nothing to me
you didn't say nothing to me

now he's back
Track Name: The Vampirate (Part 1)
E E/B A C#/A

E E/B A C#/A
i’ve been living on this ship for 8 months without a hitch
doing dishes, swabbing decks with no idea what was next

i can’t do my work until everyone’s gone to bed to rest their head
but can you blame them for leaving a mess after a long day of being the best

C#m G#m A B
at sneaking up on you when you least expect it

F#m C#m F#m C#m F#m C#m B A G#m A B
my nights are long
my days shorter still
what with all of the swashbuckling
robbing and looting and the pillaging

the other night something happened
you have to promise not to tell

D Em
i was up washing the lookout of the puke pencil pete left me
the night was crisp, the moon was full; and it was then i heard a voice

F#m Bm G F#m Bm G A F#m Bm G A F#m Bm C A
looking down to the starboard side i could barely see a figure in the moonlight
“come to me” she said in the sweetest voice a man could know
and it was with great fervor that i scaled the ropes to meet her

she opened up her arms to me
“take me away” she said to me
i wrapped my arms around her waist
taken in by her warm embrace
Track Name: The Vampirate (Part 2)
i can’t tell you how long it has been since i’ve been held
i tell the truth here, don’t have to pretend that it’s been years
(has it been years?)


Em C G D/F#
if i only knew how short this would be
the icy cold sting that sank in my neck
i fell to the floor, my head in a daze
oh what a fool my father had raised

Em C G D/F#
“i’m sorry i’m sorry” she reluctantly pleads
“one day you’ll know this hunger i feed”
i laid on the deck and stared out to sea
oh how could i let this happen to me

Am Em Am Em C Cm F G
then she wiped her mouth and turned into a bat
she flew towards the south, can you believe that?
can you believe that? she turned into a bat?


i couldn’t help but wonder what would become of me
just an amateur pirate who had now become vampire bait
having to deal with mirrors and the sunlight
and what about when there’s that rare occasion
when the captain wants garlic mixed with raisins
(mixed with raisins?)

Track Name: The Vampirate (Part 3)

C G# Am C7
it’s been a week since that night
that that girl took her bite
out of my neck with her teeth
and took the blood that was beneath

F Fm Dm G
what’s a guy supposed to do
when he’s cursed without a clue?
well such is the life of a vampirate

C G# Am C7 F Fm Dm G
do do do do do do do do do do do do

C G# Am C7
i do my best not to bite
the men on board this ship at night
but i must say it’s quite a fight
“ignore your thirst with all your might”

F Fm Dm G
but what am i supposed to say
when i give in and have my way?
well such is the life of a vampirate

Am F Dm F Am F Dm G
the wind is blowing
time to get going
the hunger’s growing
the blood is flowing

Am F Dm F Am F Dm G
captain says that i’m lazy
he thinks i’m crazy
and i’m not carrying my weight

Am F Dm F Am F Dm G
but that’s the least of what pains me
i can’t get that lady
from that night out of my mind


i didn’t even get her name
i didn’t even get her name
Track Name: Baseball
G bassline

take me out to the ballgame
take me out to the crowd
buy me some peanuts
and some cracker jacks to boot

and i don’t care if i ever get back
no i don’t care if i ever get back

so let’s root root root for the astros
if they don’t win it’s a shame
and it just ruins my evening
i just can’t stand to lose a single game

Em bassline

C D E F# bassline
i don’t care if i ever get back
no i don’t care i ever get back
Track Name: Mother Road
G C C C G C C C G C C C D C A C (notes)
the road the road the road to nowhere
this is the mother road of the nation

D E F# G (notes)
rolling down the road
rolling down that 66
(road road rolling down the-)

some people just aren’t cut out for life on the road life on the road

(same as beging)
this is the mother road of the nation
Track Name: Patient
G Em C Am
i’m always patient and kind
(you’re never patient or kind)
i’m always there when you need me
(you’re never here when i need you)

i’m never boasting or proud
(you’re always boasting and proud)
i’m never going to fail you
(you’re always going to fail me)

D thing with C at the very end
thank god that you don’t have to deal with the likes of me
(thank god that i don’t have to deal with you anymore)
Track Name: That Preview Revealed Too Much
C Dm

C Dm
got my seat and my drink and my hot dog, my pretzel
so let’s turn the lights down
i’ve been waiting for months and for months for this movie
now it’s finally out

C Dm

C Dm
got the lights and the curtains, and now the commercials
for soda no one drinks
now the previews will come and they’ll do all they can to
spoil everything

how can they say so much
how can they say so much

C Am
i should be grateful that now i don’t have to go
i don’t have to go
spend a small fortune, or take out a loan just to see
in 90 minutes what i just saw here in 3
that’s right i just
saw a whole movie, with all of its secrets in only 3 minutes

C Dm

C Dm
got the plot and the hero the girl and the villian
all we need is the twist
did you hear what he said right before the explosion
now i know too much

how can they say so much
how can they say so much

C Am
i should be grateful that all of these movies are spoiled
now instead i can
donate my money to some sort of charity
that specializes in the giving of money to me
that’s right i just
started a non profit organization that only benefits me

C Dm
Track Name: Sleep On An Airplane? Are You Nuts?
if i find myself landing at a runway in the sky
with a beautiful waitstaff and no request can be denied
and all the children are laughing and the captain is smiling
and the love of my lifetime finds her seat next to mine

hey! who’s that kid sleeping in the aisle?
it’s me! it’s me! traveling for miles
hey! did you know you’re sleeping in an airport?
i know, i know, in the middle of the floor

Bm G Bm G A Bm G Bm G E
but did you ever try to sleep on a plane?
so cramped, the noise, that baby’s insane!
and then try to lean your seat back in vain
as if that extra inch can help with the pain

and if you’re taller than 3’ 2
your knees are gonna hit the row in front of you!
and don’t you even bother with a neck pillow,
or try to keep the lights down around you real low,

F#m F F#m F G A
cuz no matter what you come up with
sleeping on an airplane is an absolute myth
Track Name: California Songs
G C D Em

G C D Em
gotta get checked in to that hotel
gotta drive down that highway
gotta see for myself these girls
gotta shred those mission beach w aves
gotta play in the house of blues
gotta spot me a movie star
gotta go hug that mickey mouse
gotta walk down that boulevard

this is a song about songs about california
when you’re in doubt sing a song about california
it’ll take you away don’t you say that i didn’t warn ya
it’s california where the sunbeams will warm ya
Track Name: Hat Over Eyes
G G Am C
ever since i was a little boy i wanted
to sleep with my hat o ver my eyes just like that
movie i saw with the guy who was named after
a state that is nearby to the state i lived in

called ohi o but that was not the name of the
guy who slept with his hat over his eyes on the
plane when he travels to far a way places like
the ori ent or the desert or the mountains

he could find an old flame or trouble from bad guys
Who were out to stop him from finding a weapon
that god made for his peo ple in the bible times
but nothing could stop this guy who slept on the plane

With his hat over his eyes it was the calm be
fore the storm of the rest of the film called raiders
it was my fav’rite when i was a little boy
who want ed to sleep with my hat Over my eyes